Big Brother 14 Episode 16-The Ratings Are So Bad They Brought Jeff In For A Chat
 

The Ratings Are So Bad They Brought Jeff In For A Chat

Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here,

I think I’ve made it more than clear in the past that this season completely blows. It seems a lot of you are in agreement because the only thing that sucks more than this season is the ratings for this season. Viewers are running for the hills & I can’t blame them. Woah is me though, I am forced to watch so that I might recap for all of you. I suffer so that you don’t have to.

Everyone Knows What You Are Doing
After the nominations Dan is feeling good about not being back doored but that is something he’s going to have to be on the look out for the rest of the season. You know what would cure that? Not throwing every competition. Britney & Danielle tell Dan he was so close to going up, but he's got some dumb grin on his face. Brit told him he has to win HOH and he said "That's not in the foreseeable future. That brings about a derisive snort from her and he said that he always tries to win. Who does he think he's fooling?

Wil thinks he is going to sail to eviction night and be saved because Joe’s mouth tends to get him in trouble. That might be the case, but it was Wil’s mouth that turned him from a pawn to the target. Wil is going to go home because he can’t play the game because he decided that he was not going to change who they were in order to win. Do you know what happens to everyone that chooses that strategy? They lose.

Dan & Frank spoke and Dan thanked the HOH for not putting him up. Frank told him that in al honesty, he did consider putting him up. That’s all Dan needed to hear. This statement justified Dan’s future backstabbing of Frank. It’s just so hard to root for these people.

Ew, Ew, Ew!!!
You know what else is hard to do? Watch Ashley & Frank make out. Ian likes Ashley, That is clear. But he is socially awkward and not built very well. Ashley does not actually like Ian. She bad mouths him behind his back. I think she was trying to create a character when she went on her date with him. But he hasn’t asked her out since so she needs to up her popularity. She asks Frank out on an ice cream date, while Ian is sitting right there. Frank accepts, but there is no ice cream so it is a wine party. During their date everyone else is in the backyard trying to distract Ian who is, I would say broken up about this. Britney tells him he has been dumped. During the date Frank just blurts “You wanna make out?” and Ashley did. It was kind of disgusting. It was like watching two cleanliness challenged hippies rutting around on a cheap couch.
During the “shudder” make out session “shudder” Ashley said that this is just what she wanted. Frank said he felt bad for Ian. Ashley said Ian is faking it and Frank rightly said “No he’s not”. What happened to bros before hos Frank?

We got a visit with Joe’s family. I like them. His wife made fun of Joe’s yelling and his kids want him to shave off that flavor savor. Plus they all hate Boogie, so what’s not to like.

Why Am I Here?
The show, as I said, is tanking in the ratings so they brought back fan favorite Jeff to be interviewed by Julie. It was pathetic. He was there for less than 5 minutes and his visit was pointless. He was shocked Janelle was voted out. He has been given a time limit to propose to Jordan. He is rooting for Ian. That was the extent of his visit. It was a sad, sad ratings grab.

Julie spent time with the Hamsters filling them in on recent pop culture events. Then she asked for the pleas from Wil & Joe. It was painful to watch & hear and I’d rather not think about it anymore. I would like to point out that Wil said he had been loyal in the house. Exactly who has he been loyal to? But it didn’t matter how loyal he might have been because he was voted out by everyone other than Jenn & Ashley. The most interesting thing from his interview with Julie was that she confirmed that there was a large alliance in the house and he didn’t like the name “Silent Six”. We have something in common

You Got A Purdy Mouth
The HOH competition is an oldie but a goodie. You slide from one end of a very slippery lane to another transporting liquid using a small cup to fill up a large container. This time though, HOH is not the only prize. You have the HOH jug, first to fill it has the ultimate power. Be the first to fill up the second bottle and you win $10,000. That was voted on through texts during the episode. Be the first to fill the third bottle and you win Safety for the week. Once someone fills a bottle, it’s over for that prize. You win a prize, you are out of competition. So you couldn’t win the $10,000 and then win HOH. Can you guess which houseguest immediately went for the money?

As of this writing winners have been crowned
Shane is HOH, Britney won Safety and Boogie won $10,000

I leave you with this my slippery hillbillies, I’m out of things to say. I can’t come up with something clever to say at the end of this article. I’m tired and I want to go to bed. You know like Ashley. Except I don’t go to the Diary Room for a pill and I don't want to spend my time in bed with Frank. But then again I don’t think I’m bright enough to be a spray tanner.

Later Minions

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For a "mobile" spray tanner, she sure wasn't moving fast in that challenge from the TV edit.
zzzzing.
In fact the fastest she's moved was her date with Frank.
zzzzzzzzzziiiiing!

I'm shocked Jeff would pull for Ian. I wasn't able to watch the first half of the show, so thanks for the recap! :up

STUPID of Frank to mention that to Dan. No wonder he's unemployed.