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Big Brother 10 Recaps & Articles Recaps by MaxxFisher, Mkwdood, & Uthe; Power Rankings by Cowchpotaytoe

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Old 08-15-2008, 01:01 AM   #1
MaxxFisher
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Big Brother 10 - Episode 15- If Jerry Were On Fire I’d Throw Gasoline On Him

If Jerry Were On Fire I’d Throw Gasoline On Him


Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here.

I know this is going to come as a shock to you, my most loyal readers, but I have a hate going on. Some of you might be saying, “Hey Maxx, you stud, hate is kind of a strong word, don’t you think?” and my answer would be, “No, my Sweet Gummi Bear, it is not strong enough in this case.” You see I hate Jerry. I hate a 75-year-old veteran reality TV show contestant. I have at this point never hated a Big Brother houseguest more than I hate Jerry. I would divorce my wife and marry Natalie from last year & Ivette from season 6 before I would even talk to Jerry. And my wife is hot, so that should tell you something. But I’ll get to my deep dark blackened hate a little later, let’s get to the show.

Big Brother Lies, Libra Never Had A Chance
Big Brother does this all the time, but it was just sad this week. They tried to build some suspense, that possibly, Libra was not going home, but she was already out the door. She was counting on a Miracle and there was not a single Angel looking out for her. I don’t mean that April, Jerry & Ollie weren’t trying to save her, it’s that Dan never had any intention of voting to keep her. His vote was for Keesha and that has not changed all week. But before we get into the events of tonight, let’s go over some of the things that have happened since the Veto ceremony.

We get a quick recap of Jerry being a complete ass during the Veto ceremony, attacking Dan like a 5 year old. Cut to Libra making fun of Jerry for not using the Veto. Renny is thoroughly disgusted by the personal attack that Jerry throws at Dan and she thinks it makes Jerry look bad, she is so wise. Dan did defend himself though. Basically he said “I never promised anything to Jerry, he’s just a crazy old coot that needs to up his medication”, but in a much more polite way. Memphis & Michelle are in the HOH just flabbergasted by what Jerry had to say during the ceremony. Memphis thinks that Jerry is going to later regret what he had to say, I don’t know if Memphis means in the game or later after the show is over in real life. But the thing is I don’t think that jerry is going to regret it in either case. He strikes me as the kind of guy that regrets nothing because he is “always right”. Michelle, during all this acts like she can’t believe what Jerry said either. This is a lie. Jerry told Michelle everything he was going to say, but he did tell her that he was not going to use the Veto though. But when Michelle said she wasn’t sure if Jerry was actually going to use it, I believed her. That is one angry crazy dude.

But poor Dan. He must have been off in a corner crying about this. Guess what, he wasn’t. He was HAPPY! Because of all of these personal attacks on him, he is drowning in sympathy. He went from being the guy that betrayed everyone to being, “Poor Dan, the guy Jerry is picking on”. You are playing a dangerous game Dan, so good luck.

April Is Delusional…and Skanky
April said that she was OCD when the show began. So far I haven’t seen any evidence of that other than her need to wear hooker heels when she does everything. Most people assume those with OCD are crazy, I don’t feel that way, but April is crazy all on her own. She is still not happy that people did not fall to the ground and worship at her feet when she was HOH. And by people I mean Keesha. April feels that Keesha is after her because she’s Jealous. Keesha is jealous because April is prettier. I am going to repeat that, my delicate flowers. Keesha is jealous because April is prettier. Even Ollie, who has been sleeping with April, didn’t seem to agree with that. In tonight’s show we saw Ollie lay on top of April in bed to discuss strategy. If any of you are wondering, and I doubt you are, that is pretty much what their sex acts consist of, except it doesn’t take as long. Ollie & April discuss switching the vote to get rid of Keesha. They know they have Jerry in their back pocket and they figure they can get DAN TO SWITCH HIS VOTE!!! Are you kidding me? They are aligned with the person that has been attacking Dan and they think that he is going to side with them? They are as bright as they look.

The one good thing about Michelle putting up Libra & Keesha is that Memphis & Dan are safe. Other than the death stare from Jerry, they are both sitting pretty this week. They decide, since they are both in the back yard with nothing else to do, to form an alliance with Keesha & Renny. The only thing is, Renny & Keesha don’t know about this alliance. They then decide to form a sub alliance within this super secret alliance between just the 2 of them. A bro’s before ho’s alliance if you will. Then the naming ceremony takes place and Dan throws out “The Wild Mustangs”. Memphis loves it, but wants to use “The Renegades”. And Dan being Dan, he decides to forgo his wishes and goes along with Memphis on this. So we have a 4 person alliance that only 2 people know about and the 2 people that know about it have their own secret alliance within the secret alliance. Do you understand that? You do? Good, can you explain it to me then?

Ollie decided that he needed to be the one to go to Libra with the plan to save her and for some reason he also decided he needed to dress up like LL Cool J circa 1986. Naturally Libra was for it, because who wouldn’t want to be saved, but even she knew that they needed Dan’s vote, but she was smart enough to realize that she should be the one to go to him. So she saunters over to the kitchen where he and April (in her hooker heels naturally) are doing the dishes. She lays it all out for him and he tells her that he is always open to suggestions and he pretends like he is actually thinking about it.

Libra Might Be An Awful Mother, But At Least She Has A Trip To Hawaii
We got to visit Libra’s home and family in tonight’s episode. Let me just say now that my first thought when I saw Libra’s husband was “that man looks beat down”. My second thought was “I bet Libra’s mother is beating the s#!t out of him too”. We saw in the footage from home that Hubby really did want Libra to take the trip. I’m betting he assumes that she’ll be taking her mother and he’ll be staying behind to take care of the kids, and I would say he’d win that bet. Understandably Libra’s family does not like Michelle or any of the comments she made. I will say this, Libra’s daughter Fallon is cute as hell.

They Call Me MISTER Judas!
Let’s cut to the living room where the Chenbot Julie 2.5 interviews our houseguests.
Hey Dan, you believe in God, has that influenced your game play? “Well Julie it’s an influence in my life. I haven’t represented my faith or myself perfectly in the game (the camera cut to Jerry) but being catholic I can go to confession when this is all over.”
Hey Jerry, everyone thinks you’re a giant jerk for losing your mind and attacking Dan, do you still feel that way? “Yes I do, you see I’m a complete a$$hole so I have no choice.”
Are you mad about that Dan? “No but the teacher in me thinks he should have called me Mr. Judas. For that I’d like to give him a detention.” (That line Dan has put you in my favorites column for this season.)
Hey Memphis, what do you think of all of this. “I think Jerry is a jerk, but that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.”

We come back from a commercial break to find Julie chatting with Michelle. Julie in a very veiled way says that April has been kissing up to you Michelle, what’s up with that and Michelle completely plays it off like it’s nothing new. I will give Michelle credit for this, she said she regretted saying Libra was a bad mother and saying Dan was going to burn in hell. Maybe she was sincere, maybe she was just saying it for the cameras. What she didn’t regret was wanting to tie Jessie down and make little muscle bound babies with him that are stupid and have out of control hair.

Opinions Are Like…
We get some quick DR clips of what the hamsters think of Keesha and Libra and why they would get rid of or keep them
Jerry: I want to get rid of Keesha because she is aligned with Memphis and that would isolate him if she were gone. (didn’t you promise Keesha she was safe?)
Ollie: Keesha barked up the wrong tree and the tree is going to fall on you. (Oh shut the hell up you moron)
April: Keesha is a liar & a backstabber. Her voice & laugh are annoying, It’s deadly, I feel sorry for America. (Yeah me too, America has to watch you hump Ollie)
Memphis: I can trust Keesha, she’s honest with me, plus she doesn’t call me a bartender, which I hate.
Renny: She’s my biggest Ally (I don’t have anything snarky, this statement is true)
Dan: Keesha is an Ally. I like her, she likes me, I trust her, she’s a friend. But If I keep Libra she creates drama and fights everyday

6-0, What A Surprise, I Thought The Votes Were Going To Flip
USELESS MOMENT ALLERT!!!
Let’s see Keesha and Libra beg to stay even though it won’t help
Keesha: If I go, no hard feelings. I’ve loved every minute of it. If I go to the Jury, I’ll see one of you in the Jury house next week
Libra: Crazy game, power changes, stand tall…and then the rest of her speech just degenerates into nonsense and I stopped writing down what she said. So it’s time for the live vote.
Renny: Libra
Memphis: Libra
Commercial break, that foul temptress Julie Chen
Jerry: Libra
Dan: Libra (It’s Official)
Ollie: (This complete tool moonwalks into the DR) Libra Mrs. Julie (he can’t call her Julie Momma anymore, he got the smack down on The Late Late Show over this)
April: Libra

Libra gets up and hugs everyone, except Michelle and then she is out the door. Julie asks Libra why her alliance with Keesha & April seemed to disintegrate. Libra basically said that women are catty and just can’t get along. Julie also asks her about getting the reputation for master minding all the evictions, Libra did say that she got a lot of credit, more than she deserved. She’s right, she did get more than she deserved, but that’s going to happen when you GO TO THE HOH AND TAKE CREDIT FOR GETTING EVERYONE OUT. Yeah she did that. She told Michelle that she was responsible for getting everyone out and then she can’t figure out how she gets all the blame. 2 + 2 Libra, 2 + 2.

Parting words from the other HG’s:
Ollie: Not too much to say, you betrayed my girlfriend so you are bad. Waaaahhhhh!
April: You betrayed me so you are bad. Waaaahhhhh!
Renny: We’re both mothers, we had a connection, I felt your pain, I love you (and then she blows her a kiss)
Jerry: You were a strong player and got people to do your bidding. At least you’re not Dan
Keesha: I’ll never forget you or our friendship because I need your jury vote.

Screw You April. Screw You Ollie. And Screw You Most Of All Jerry!!!
It’s HOH Time. The game is this. Julie will read a Diary Room statement and the players had to guess who said it: Brian, Angie, Steven or Jessie. You get it wrong and you’re out. You get it right you can kick someone out.
1. (Jessie said it) Renny right-April is out! And man you should have seen the look on her face, she looked like she could melt rock. Plus there was a little cheer form the live audience so screw you April.
2. (Brian said it) Dan right-Jerry out
3. (Angie said it) Ollie got it wrong so he’s out
4. (Jessie said it) Memphis got it wrong so he’s out
5. (Steven said it) Dan got it wrong so he’s out
6. (Brian said it) Renny got it right so SHE IS THE NEW HOH!!!!
It really didn’t matter to me who one HOH after Ollie was out because it was all good for me after that. So screw you AOJ! Plus I think Dan & Memphis Threw it once the morons had been put out of the game.

I Have A Burning Hatred For Jerry
I hate that bastard. There is no getting around it and I am not ashamed to say it. He talks about being a fan but he doesn’t seem to know a thing about the game. He attacks Dan for supposedly going against his word but Jerry did that in week one. In fact he was ready to do it this week too. Jerry PROMISED Keesha that she was safe, that she was staying and then he tried to switch the vote to get rid of her. How is that any different from what he is yelling at Dan about? And the personal attacks against Dan & his religion have made me sick and I’m a horrible bastard. He was a Marine for 4 years, 54 years ago and he has made that the center point of his life. My grandfather was in the Navy during WWII and I didn’t find out about it until after he died. He never spoke about it. And he wasn’t a payroll clerk that spent his tour in an office. He was actually in combat. Not since season 6 with the Nerd herd have I seen a Hamster so hated. There is not a BB site out there that I have found where he is liked. Plus he thinks America is on his side.

I leave you with this my Dark Riders, is there any doubt that Renny is going to put up April & Ollie? Is there any doubt that Jerry will be kissing major ass with Renny? Is there any doubt my hate for Jerry will continue to grow?

Later Minions



If you've got that burning itching feeling after reading this you can contact me at Maxx@tvfunspot.com

For More Big Brother 10 News visit: SirLinksalot: Big Brother 10

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Old 08-15-2008, 01:37 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxxFisher View Post
I leave you with this my Dark Riders, is there any doubt that Renny is going to put up April & Ollie? Is there any doubt that Jerry will be kissing major ass with Renny? Is there any doubt my hate for Jerry will continue to grow?
I expect to see all of those things become reality, and I will relish them all.

Great stuff as usual Maxx. When the idiots win, I can ready your articles to help cheer me up. When the idiots are getting owned, I can celebrate by reading your articles!
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:38 AM   #3
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Hilarious. Simply hilarious!!!
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Old 08-15-2008, 08:26 AM   #4
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Great article Maxx.

Tell us how you REALLY feel about Jerry!

* and I feel exactly the same way.
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:11 PM   #5
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Max, you are so funny and I love your articles. I agree with everything you have said, and I too do not like Jerry, because he is such a jerk. Write on my dear Max for I look foreward to reading your opinions.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:57 PM   #6
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Thank you for saying everything I wish I could!

Another FANTASTIC recap, Maxx!
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