The Amazing Race 20 – Episode 1 - This Might Be The Dumbest Cast In 20 Years

[MaxxFisher]

This Might Be The Dumbest Cast In 20 Years

Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here,

I have had an amazingly bad. First my wife & I go to the pet store and she buys our new dog, Gigi, a dress. Pink & black and frilly. A dog dress. And she actually expects me to walk her in it. I believe my grounds for divorcing her are intense insanity. But it was only going to get worse. It seems while going over a bridge we got a flat tire. Needless to say I panicked. Turns out I had a jack that couldn’t raise Phil Keoghan’s eyebrow, so I had to call roadside assistance. This should all be an illustration to my friends. I have had many, many tell me that if they were going to run the Amazing Race they would want to run it with me. This incident proves what a puss I am. The only saving grace I had was that the AAA guy said that I did more than most guys usually do. This just makes me weep for the state of the world if I’m the manly one out there. So to all of you potential Racers, you don’t want to pick me, but maybe I’d be better than some of the racers this season. I would say quite a few if this premiere is any indication. And the end of the episode just made the day even worse.

I have to be honest with you, if it isn’t a man & woman team, I have no idea who is who, so for the most part I will be referring to the teams by “clever” nicknames I have given them. The race began in Santa Barbara, CA and the teams would need to fly to Santa Barbara, Argentina. See what they did their? The teams wouldn’t find this out until they found they first clue. There were 100 balloons floating over a vineyard and only 11 of them had clues. I thought this was a great “needle in a haystack” challenge. The Twins were the first to find the clue, which was helpful because there were 2 flights going to Argentina and the first 6 teams would arrive with a 2.5 hour head start. The Hot Sisters were last to find the clue in just under 2 hours, you will start to see a pattern with them.

Plane 1
Twins
Brenchel
The Feds
Border Patrol
GI Joneses
Dating Couple

Later plane 2
Clowns
Guidos
Hot Sisters
Country Cousins
Country Boys who seem to be a couple randy fellows

All the teams drive to another airport for the Roadblock. 1 member would be jumping from a plane at 10,000 feet. The other member would have to meet them at the drop location about 3 miles away. Now the second round of players were more than 2 hours behind but let’s pretend that’s not the case when I talk about them. Of the first group, everyone has a blast with the jump with the exception of Border Patrol. He looked like he was going to pee his pants, but he still went through with it. The second group was a disaster. The non jumping Guido couldn’t drive a stick and kept stalling and then he seemed to drive off in some random direction. The Clowns were either so far behind on the way to the airport or they got lost, it was hard to tell. Country Cousin thought she was going to die and leave her family without her. But she sucked it up and jumped anyway. Hot Sister pulled off to the side of the road and she got stuck in the sand and needed locals to help pull her out. I wonder why they did that?

After the jumps the Racers would need to drive themselves to Patios de Cafayate and compete in an empanadas making contest. They would need to make 120, 60 meat and 60 cheese. The twist is that the two varieties are made each in their own distinct way. Border Patrol, who were there first did not pay attention to that. Brenchel noticed it immediately as did the GI Joneses. Border Patrol was about halfway through the challenge when they realized they had screwed up and basically had to start over. It was a race now between Brenchel & The GI Joneses to see who would be the first on the mat and who would win the Express Pass. The GI & his Wife were the first on the mat with Brenchel hot on their heels. Second place will always be better than last place. That leaves us at the bottom of the barrel.

The last 2 teams were The Guidos and The Hot Sisters. The Guidos were a mess. The Hot Sisters were the last to arrive but they caught up and passed The Guidos and were on their way to a save, then some odd things happened. When they arrived the girls left their bags in the car. They saw that everyone else had their bags so after they finished they went back and got them. I’m not exactly sure they had to do that but I guess they wanted to safe just in case. You might think this was a fatal mistake, but it wasn’t. They made their way back and were still ahead of the Guidos and went out to the courtyard/meadow/place where Phil was but somehow they did not see him. It was stunning. I have no idea how they could possibly be this dense. The Guidos managed to find Phil by you know, using their eyes and this sent the Hot Sisters home.

1 Rachel & Dave
2 Brendon & Rachel
3 Art & JJ
4 Nary & Jamie
5 Vanessa & Ralph
6 Elliot & Andrew
7 Kerri & Stacy
8 David & Cherie
9 Bopper & Mark
10 Joey & Danny
11 Misa & Maiya

I leave you with this, my slightly off empanadas, are you unhappy we have been saddle with a team that has a member that refers to himself as “Fitness”? Anyone else hoping that Mark always sits in the front seat from now on? And did anyone else have a worse weekend than me? The answer is no. You see on Saturday I had my taxes done. I think we can all figure out how that went.

Later Minions

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If you've got that burning itching feeling after reading this you can contact me at Maxx@tvfunspot.com
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[Synnamin]

LOL! Gigi looks beautiful in her dress! Oh and go Brenchel!