The Amazing Race 16 – Episode 1 – Do I Hate Some Of These People? Yes I Do

MaxxFisher · 02-15-2010, 12:54 AM

Do I Hate Some Of These People? Yes I Do

Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here,

So here we are again. A new season and a new bunch of ugly Americans traveling the world to show us their true colors. I am an angry person in general and I tend to hate people easily, especially people on TV. Usually I only tend to not like one team on the Amazing Race. You have your random Jonathan & Victoria or your Rob & Amber, you know, scum. But this year I think they managed to hire the casting director from Big Brother cause I am a hating machine. And they seem so hateable that I don’t see redemption in their future. The hate will more than likely stay strong until they save orphans or go home or die. Let’s get onto the race.

Let’s address the elephant in the room first. There are few “famous” people in the race this year. The first 2 are Jeff & Jordan from Big Brother. They started a romance in the BB house that has spilled out into the real world and then into the fake world of The Amazing Race. I thought they were great on BB. It’s not that I was a shipper or anything, I just want them to get married and have pretty, stupid babies. And then there is Caitlin Upton, former Miss Teen South Carolina. You might remember her from the long, rambling non-sensical answer she gave to a judges question. I would embed a You Tube of it here, but Jordan, of Dan & Jordan, not Jeff & Jordan knows it by heart. How do I know this? He recited it. Twice. But more on that later.

The 11 teams started the race in LA and there was a bit of a twist. The first 3 teams to the airport get a flight that leaves an hour before the next flight. The snag this time around is that the teams would not be driving to the airport, they could only get there using public transportation. In LA. During Rush hour. May God have mercy on their souls.

Well it all came down to racing public transportation, train vs. bus. And surprisingly to me, bus wins. I really would have put my money on the train winning. Trains don’t have to contend with traffic. The bus wins, but there are 4 teams and only 3 spots so it’s a race to get to the right ticket booth. It’s funny but when the teams found out they were flying to Santiago Jeff thought they were going to Guatemala and Jordan thought they were going to China. Even after being corrected, Jordan still asked for tickets to china when they got to the ticket counter. Jeff & Jordan, Dana & Adrian and Monique & Shawne were able to get on the earlier flight and every other team was out of luck. Or so we thought.

It turns out that Brandy, of Carol & Brandy fame has some sort of supernatural powers. He first power is the ability to cause mechanical problems on a plane when she wishes it and her other power is to get on my nerves. Well she wished that the early flight would have mechanical problems and it did. So the 3 teams that were going to leave early had to get tickets for the later flight so every team was traveling to Guatemala, I mean China, I mean Chile together.

For some reason, while waiting for the flight in LA, the cowboys, Jet & Cord (great names) decided to exchange there money, which made perfect sense. But they got Brazilian currency. They later said that was all they had, but how was Brazilian money going to help them in a country other than Brazil?

Once in Chile the teams had to take a 60 mile bus ride to Valparaiso, Chile for their next task. There were 3 buses and funny thing, Jeff & Jordan, Dana & Adrian & Monique & Shawne were all on the first bus, just like they were supposed to take the first flight. And shocker! The cowboys could not get on the bus they wanted because they had money the Chilean bus driver would not accept. Who could have seen that coming except anyone watching the show?

In Valparaiso a lot of stupid things happened, a lot, but lets get to the Roadblock first. One member of each team needed to cross a pair of high wires, one above them they held onto and one the walked on. The wires were 120 feet in the air and they would need to go 300 feet across the valley. Caitlin decided to do it for her team and she had a blast doing. She was perky & peppy the whole night (well almost the whole night) and she zipped right across the line. Jordan only did it because she was slightly less afraid of heights than Jeff. She was not perky & peppy going across the wire but she managed.

Dan of Jordan & Dan went across the wire but at some point he fell but managed to grab onto the bottom wire and pull himself across dangling from the line. I should point out that everyone was harnessed in and attached to a safety wire. Adrian does it for his team for a purely stupid reason. He does it because he is “The Big Dog”. Smart. The overweight man with a history of poor judgment (They lost their life savings to a failed business) is going to cross a wire. I suspect he didn’t want his wife doing something manly on TV making him look weak. He was kind of a jackass. The teams seemed to trickle in throughout the day to do this challenge with various degrees of success. Brandy was cocky before the challenge and a mess during the challenge. Her ability to cause aviation mechanical damage does not translate to walking on a wire. Allie, of Steve & Allie (Not Kate & Allie) flew across with a good attitude, which could also be said about Cord who I think ran across his wire.

After the wire walk each team had to take a funicular (a sort of trolley/elevator/escalator) down a hill and then Paint The Town. This challenge had each team gathering 4 paint cans, brushes and a ladder. The teams would have to travel down the street find a house with a color that matches the paint cans and then paint and un-painted portion of the house, a very, very small un-painted portion. This is where some fun began. Caitlin & Brent did not read their clue and they walked down the hill rather than take the funicular. They also couldn’t find the houses that needed painting so they lost their lead. At least Jeff remained calm and led them to the right area. Louis & Michael, the undercover cops just decided to randomly paint some graffiti. But the greatest moment came when Steve & Allie walked into someone’s house that was being renovated and just started painting one of the interior walls because it matched the color they had. The owner seemed stumped as to why they were there and he seemed less than pleased by their horrible painting skills. Steve & Allie only realized their mistake when the homeowner had no clue for them.

Dan & Jordan were a special kind of stupid this week. While looking for their painting house Dan lost one of the paintbrushes. They briefly looked for it and then Jordan suggested that they just tell “them” that someone took the brush. BRILLIANT strategy. Maybe the camera crew following your every move will back you up on that.

Jeff & Jordan were the first to the mat and winners of a trip for 2 to Canada…congratulations…maybe you can trade it in for cash. Caitlin & Brent were the second team to arrive but because they did not follow their clue they had a 30 minute penalty that dropped them from second to seventh. Dan & Jordan got a 15 minute penalty for losing one of their brushes. I wonder how the “someone took it story” went over with Phil?

I feel like I’m forgetting something…oh yeah, Adrian. Big Dog fell off the wire and had to be drag back to the starting point. He was ready to give up, but he gave it another go and fell again. And then gave up. Big Dog indeed. Adrian & Dana were hoping this was a non-elimination round, but if you can’t even make it to the mat, you aren’t moving on. Phil showed up at the start of the Roadblock to send them off. There are a lot of teams I really didn’t cover, but that was just cause they were pretty boring. I’m sure they’ll be covered in the future or they’ll be so boring they’ll simply fade away.

I leave you with this, my confused beauty queens, have I made it clear who I don’t like? If not you should re-read this entire article. We’ll wait. At least one of the people I hate is gone. Damn you Dana! Damn you straight to hell!

Later Minions

If you would like to be alerted to new Amazing Race 15 Articles & Polls you can follow me on Twitter for the latest updates HERE

If you've got that burning itching feeling after reading this you can contact me at Maxx@tvfunspot.com
For More Amazing Race 16 News visit: SirLinksalot: Amazing Race 16
Images are Property of CBS, but I belong to me.

Synnamin · 02-15-2010, 01:37 AM

LOL! Great Maxx! Am I the only one that is totally feeling Catie and Brent? I love her. She is really a fun person! Jeff and Jordan were so damn cute as well! This is starting out to be really fun. Oh and way to piss off the Canadians on the board Maxxy baby!

elektrobank · 02-15-2010, 06:44 AM

Excellent review.. thank!

Erika · 02-15-2010, 11:15 AM

Very fun recap Maxx! I do like Jeff and Jordan! Catie, she was not a favorite, especially when she said technically they were 2nd - no Catie, technically you were 7th - technically of course, if you follow the rules.

angelfan · 02-15-2010, 12:14 PM

Not feeling Caite. Sorry but still loving Jeff and Jordan. Great article Maxx. And right now I don't really know if I like any of the other teams. And judging from the previews that's not going to change.

Jay · 02-15-2010, 12:25 PM

Nicely done Maxx!

coksy · 02-15-2010, 03:20 PM

I have to agree that they really stacked the cast with a lot of unlikeable teams this season...

cher · 02-16-2010, 06:10 PM

Funny article Max. I also think Jeff and Jordon cute.

02-15-2010, 12:54 AM	#1
MaxxFisher I Might Be Too Awesome Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,810 Location: Ballsville USA Age: 36 Gender: Male Casino Cash: $576943 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 14	The Amazing Race 16 – Episode 1 – Do I Hate Some Of These People? Yes I Do Do I Hate Some Of These People? Yes I Do Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here, So here we are again. A new season and a new bunch of ugly Americans traveling the world to show us their true colors. I am an angry person in general and I tend to hate people easily, especially people on TV. Usually I only tend to not like one team on the Amazing Race. You have your random Jonathan & Victoria or your Rob & Amber, you know, scum. But this year I think they managed to hire the casting director from Big Brother cause I am a hating machine. And they seem so hateable that I don’t see redemption in their future. The hate will more than likely stay strong until they save orphans or go home or die. Let’s get onto the race. Let’s address the elephant in the room first. There are few “famous” people in the race this year. The first 2 are Jeff & Jordan from Big Brother. They started a romance in the BB house that has spilled out into the real world and then into the fake world of The Amazing Race. I thought they were great on BB. It’s not that I was a shipper or anything, I just want them to get married and have pretty, stupid babies. And then there is Caitlin Upton, former Miss Teen South Carolina. You might remember her from the long, rambling non-sensical answer she gave to a judges question. I would embed a You Tube of it here, but Jordan, of Dan & Jordan, not Jeff & Jordan knows it by heart. How do I know this? He recited it. Twice. But more on that later. The 11 teams started the race in LA and there was a bit of a twist. The first 3 teams to the airport get a flight that leaves an hour before the next flight. The snag this time around is that the teams would not be driving to the airport, they could only get there using public transportation. In LA. During Rush hour. May God have mercy on their souls. Well it all came down to racing public transportation, train vs. bus. And surprisingly to me, bus wins. I really would have put my money on the train winning. Trains don’t have to contend with traffic. The bus wins, but there are 4 teams and only 3 spots so it’s a race to get to the right ticket booth. It’s funny but when the teams found out they were flying to Santiago Jeff thought they were going to Guatemala and Jordan thought they were going to China. Even after being corrected, Jordan still asked for tickets to china when they got to the ticket counter. Jeff & Jordan, Dana & Adrian and Monique & Shawne were able to get on the earlier flight and every other team was out of luck. Or so we thought. It turns out that Brandy, of Carol & Brandy fame has some sort of supernatural powers. He first power is the ability to cause mechanical problems on a plane when she wishes it and her other power is to get on my nerves. Well she wished that the early flight would have mechanical problems and it did. So the 3 teams that were going to leave early had to get tickets for the later flight so every team was traveling to Guatemala, I mean China, I mean Chile together. For some reason, while waiting for the flight in LA, the cowboys, Jet & Cord (great names) decided to exchange there money, which made perfect sense. But they got Brazilian currency. They later said that was all they had, but how was Brazilian money going to help them in a country other than Brazil? Once in Chile the teams had to take a 60 mile bus ride to Valparaiso, Chile for their next task. There were 3 buses and funny thing, Jeff & Jordan, Dana & Adrian & Monique & Shawne were all on the first bus, just like they were supposed to take the first flight. And shocker! The cowboys could not get on the bus they wanted because they had money the Chilean bus driver would not accept. Who could have seen that coming except anyone watching the show? In Valparaiso a lot of stupid things happened, a lot, but lets get to the Roadblock first. One member of each team needed to cross a pair of high wires, one above them they held onto and one the walked on. The wires were 120 feet in the air and they would need to go 300 feet across the valley. Caitlin decided to do it for her team and she had a blast doing. She was perky & peppy the whole night (well almost the whole night) and she zipped right across the line. Jordan only did it because she was slightly less afraid of heights than Jeff. She was not perky & peppy going across the wire but she managed. Dan of Jordan & Dan went across the wire but at some point he fell but managed to grab onto the bottom wire and pull himself across dangling from the line. I should point out that everyone was harnessed in and attached to a safety wire. Adrian does it for his team for a purely stupid reason. He does it because he is “The Big Dog”. Smart. The overweight man with a history of poor judgment (They lost their life savings to a failed business) is going to cross a wire. I suspect he didn’t want his wife doing something manly on TV making him look weak. He was kind of a jackass. The teams seemed to trickle in throughout the day to do this challenge with various degrees of success. Brandy was cocky before the challenge and a mess during the challenge. Her ability to cause aviation mechanical damage does not translate to walking on a wire. Allie, of Steve & Allie (Not Kate & Allie) flew across with a good attitude, which could also be said about Cord who I think ran across his wire. After the wire walk each team had to take a funicular (a sort of trolley/elevator/escalator) down a hill and then Paint The Town. This challenge had each team gathering 4 paint cans, brushes and a ladder. The teams would have to travel down the street find a house with a color that matches the paint cans and then paint and un-painted portion of the house, a very, very small un-painted portion. This is where some fun began. Caitlin & Brent did not read their clue and they walked down the hill rather than take the funicular. They also couldn’t find the houses that needed painting so they lost their lead. At least Jeff remained calm and led them to the right area. Louis & Michael, the undercover cops just decided to randomly paint some graffiti. But the greatest moment came when Steve & Allie walked into someone’s house that was being renovated and just started painting one of the interior walls because it matched the color they had. The owner seemed stumped as to why they were there and he seemed less than pleased by their horrible painting skills. Steve & Allie only realized their mistake when the homeowner had no clue for them. Dan & Jordan were a special kind of stupid this week. While looking for their painting house Dan lost one of the paintbrushes. They briefly looked for it and then Jordan suggested that they just tell “them” that someone took the brush. BRILLIANT strategy. Maybe the camera crew following your every move will back you up on that. Jeff & Jordan were the first to the mat and winners of a trip for 2 to Canada…congratulations…maybe you can trade it in for cash. Caitlin & Brent were the second team to arrive but because they did not follow their clue they had a 30 minute penalty that dropped them from second to seventh. Dan & Jordan got a 15 minute penalty for losing one of their brushes. I wonder how the “someone took it story” went over with Phil? I feel like I’m forgetting something…oh yeah, Adrian. Big Dog fell off the wire and had to be drag back to the starting point. He was ready to give up, but he gave it another go and fell again. And then gave up. Big Dog indeed. Adrian & Dana were hoping this was a non-elimination round, but if you can’t even make it to the mat, you aren’t moving on. Phil showed up at the start of the Roadblock to send them off. There are a lot of teams I really didn’t cover, but that was just cause they were pretty boring. I’m sure they’ll be covered in the future or they’ll be so boring they’ll simply fade away. I leave you with this, my confused beauty queens, have I made it clear who I don’t like? If not you should re-read this entire article. We’ll wait. At least one of the people I hate is gone. Damn you Dana! Damn you straight to hell! Later Minions If you would like to be alerted to new Amazing Race 15 Articles & Polls you can follow me on Twitter for the latest updates HERE If you've got that burning itching feeling after reading this you can contact me at Maxx@tvfunspot.com For More Amazing Race 16 News visit: SirLinksalot: Amazing Race 16 Images are Property of CBS, but I belong to me. __________________ Last edited by Erika; 02-15-2010 at 11:14 AM..

02-15-2010, 01:37 AM	#2
Synnamin ~But I'm a princess!!! Join Date:* Jan 2007 Posts: 2,414 Location: ~Left Of Center Gender:* Female Casino Cash: $197986 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 18	LOL! Great Maxx! Am I the only one that is totally feeling Catie and Brent? I love her. She is really a fun person! Jeff and Jordan were so damn cute as well! This is starting out to be really fun. Oh and way to piss off the Canadians on the board Maxxy baby! __________________ ~*Cinnamon. It should be on tables in restaurants along with salt and pepper. Anytime someone says, "Ooh, this is so good what's in this?" the answer invariably comes back, cinnamon. Cinnamon. Again and again.

02-15-2010, 12:25 PM	#6
Jay Misunderstood Genius Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 13,337 Location: Canada, eh? Casino Cash: $416027 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 12	Nicely done Maxx! __________________ Zombieland rule #8 : Get a kickass partner

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02-15-2010, 06:44 AM	#3
elektrobank FunSpot Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 1 Casino Cash: $20100	Excellent review.. thank!

02-15-2010, 11:15 AM	#4
Erika FunSpot Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 20,786 Gender: Female Casino Cash: $794085 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 26	Very fun recap Maxx! I do like Jeff and Jordan! Catie, she was not a favorite, especially when she said technically they were 2nd - no Catie, technically you were 7th - technically of course, if you follow the rules.

02-15-2010, 12:14 PM	#5
angelfan FunSpot Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,103 Location: Alabama Age: 39 Gender: Female Casino Cash: $214040 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 5	Not feeling Caite. Sorry but still loving Jeff and Jordan. Great article Maxx. And right now I don't really know if I like any of the other teams. And judging from the previews that's not going to change.

02-15-2010, 03:20 PM	#7
coksy Kitsune Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 3,071 Age: 29 Casino Cash: $295816 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 9	I have to agree that they really stacked the cast with a lot of unlikeable teams this season...

02-16-2010, 06:10 PM	#8
cher FunSpot Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 95 Location: Poland, Indiana Gender: Female Casino Cash: $124200	Funny article Max. I also think Jeff and Jordon cute.

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