Big Brother 9 - Episode 2 - BIG MOUTH SNAKES

[MaxxFisher]

Episode 2
BIG MOUTH SNAKES

Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here.

Right now we are in the early stages of dating when it comes to this season of Big Brother. Awkward pauses in the conversation, not sure if her last name is Jones or Jonas, is it too early to try & cop a feel? Well as we learned from Alex tonight, it is NOT too early to cop a feel, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

We started the night out learning that Parker & Jen are the new Brangelina. How long until they start adopting Burmese children. At the end of the last episode the pair became Big Brother’s first ever Power Couple. Not really sure what that means other than they decide the first couple to leave the house and of course it was going to be Adam & Sheila, who else could it possibly be? Of course Sharon felt safe, she & Jacob aren’t even on anyone’s radar. Her biggest problem would not be strangling her ex/soul-mate in his sleep.

Adam certainly did not feel safe, I mean he’s not as stupid as he looks, oh wait a minute, yes he is. He, Sheila, Matt & Natalie are all talking in the backyard, Adam is letting them all know about his work with developmentally disabled children when he decides to call them retards. The Children, not the housemates. Sheila is by her nature already upset and this just pushes her over the edge as she relays this exchange to the girls in the rustic bathroom. She just tells everyone that will listen and those that won’t listen about the cross she has to bear by being matched with Adam. To give her credit Sheila did try to explain to Adam that he is a moron, but naturally he didn’t get it.

THE HEART WANTS WHAT JEN HAS
In the log cabin kitchenette Allison is telling Ryan how greatly matched they are. She asks if she is his type, and he nods tells her yeah. She says that Ryan is TOTALLY her type. Over in the corner Jen is sitting on the couch, watching this exchange, trying to mentally cause Allison to burst into flames. When this doesn’t work we see Jen burst into tears in the exact same diary room but with trees, saying how hard it is to be there with Ryan and to not be a couple. The Secret Lovers whisper to each other, alone in a room about how hard it is to see each other in bed with someone else. And then they sneak a kiss. A potentially $500,000 kiss.

Then comes the @$$ grab that Alex gives Amanda and she doesn’t even bat an eye, I hope my wife was paying attention to this part. Alex is very happy that he was paired with Amanda. And if Amanda got any happier about being paired with Alex then she would explode and the house would be covered with little bits of happy Amanda.

Cut to the pool table and we find Jacob bagging on Parker, saying that he is a snake and as soon as he (Jacob) gets HOH then Parker is out of there. Adam & Ryan are both out there and really neither agree nor disagree with what Jacob is saying. Jen strolls out there and Jacobs gives her his opinions on Parker. Now lets take a moment, my precious flowers and examine that last sentence. Jacob told Jen, PARKER’S PARTNER and fellow member of the “Power Couple” team, that he thinks that Parker is a snake. Uh-huh. Adam you are no longer the stupidest person in the house. Jen fakes a contact lens emergency, cause you know that happens all the time and runs and tells Parker all about this after a few detours. Parker decides that he needs to confront Jacob about this. As he goes outside the conversation suddenly changes to the weather about how cold it is.
“You know what’s cold, Korea”, Jacob Said, “It’s cold as hell there”
“You know what’s cold?” quipped Parker. “You telling everyone out here that I’m a snake”
Nice

Jacob of course says that he didn’t say it, he overheard someone else say it but he refused to say who it was. And that really left Parker with no other choice but to wake up everyone in the house. So everyone is up on the big round comfy couch and Parker explains the situation. Adam is ecstatic because a giant bull’s eye has just shifted off of him. Sharon on the other hand is not happy because that bull’s eye found a new home right on her & Jacob. And this is just one more thing that Sharon is upset at Jacob about so she sets out to do some damage control. She and Parker have a convo on the second floor’s fake library. He tells her that he has nothing against her, it’s her partner he has a problem with. She basically tells Parker that she knows who called him a snake but she promised not to tell. He guesses and she either nods or shakes her head. He gets to Ryan and she nods. Not much of a secret keeper.

So cut to daylight, Parker & Jen are hanging out in the Hammock and he tells her what Sharon said about Ryan. He thought he & Ryan were cool, but guess not. Jen pretty much realizes that she has no choice so when she is sure no one else is around she tells Parker that she & Ryan have been dating for almost a year and they are the other twist in the house. Man Parker had the biggest grin on his face from what I would imagine was a combination of amusement & bewilderment. Ryan ambles on over and confirms the story with Parker & realizes he has to tell Allison because it wouldn’t be fair. So he breaks the news to her and she’s more upset that she doesn’t have shot at Ryan anymore than anything else (She thinks that Ryan would be better off with her instead of Jen). Both Jen & Ryan assure their partners that they have their backs, this is a game, not real life, and they are there to win.
Allison “I don’t trust Jen”
Jen “I don’t trust Allison”
Ryan “I don’t trust Parker”
Parker “I don’t trust Ryan”
That Was Classic!

Being stupid and unsocial are not the only problems Adam seems to have. He committed the worst sin in the Big Brother world, he snores. And of course Sheila had to let everyone else know that he tried to murder her, I mean he kept her awake. Surely he will burn in hell for this transgression. The B@$t@rd!

YOU DON”T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU CAN’T STAY HERE
Well it is eviction day and some people are nervous. Jen and parker talk about what a hard decision it was. Jen is crying. They say that they are sorry to the partner, they have no problem with her, its her match that screwed everything up. The camera stays pretty focused on Adam & Sheila so they are obviously staying. So it’s Jacob and Sharon who are leaving. Parker & Jen both seem honestly upset about getting rid of Sharon, it really doesn’t seem to bother them that Jacob is leaving. I wonder if they will know where to put their bags down if Julie Chen is not there to tell them. Adam & Sheila are both feeling pretty lucky right now, except of course about who they are teamed up with.

THE RETURN OF BARBIE & THE WEASEL
Now it’s time for the HOH competition. It all becomes kind of blur at this point because I was subjected to the return of the nauseating couple that are Jessica & Eric. I loathe Eric and don’t care about Jessica, but he makes me sick enough that she is tainted by the unending darkness that overtakes me when I see that twitchy moron. The theme of this competition was “The Tunnel Of Love”. The backyard had a pier, water and little boats for the hamsters to sit in. It was basically a rip off of the Newlywed Game. And strangely enough everyone seemed to have a good time even Sheila & Adam. I learned 2 things during this challenge:
1) Joshuah is in terrible shape and
2) I think I will come to learn as much about Amanda’s butt as I’m sure I will about Natalie’s chest.
After the all the fun ended It was Alex and Amanda that came out victorious, as did I after seeing Amanda in that Naughty Nurse outfit.

During the challenge Allison took the time to once again bring up the fact that Ryan would be better off with her rather than Jen. If I were one of those pet guinea pigs I’d be worried that one day I’ll wake up in a boiling pot of water because “Allison is not going to be ignored, Ryan!”

Later Minions

If you have the guts you can contact me at Maxx@tvfunspot.com

For More Big Brother 9 News visit: SirLinksalot: Big Brother 9
Images are Property of CBS

[Erika]

Funny Maxx....I like the 'Fatal Attraction' reference

[Jahim]

Amazing recap! Tons of fun

[angelfan]

Great recap!

[Davis]

Originally Posted by MaxxFisher

In the log cabin kitchenette Allison is telling Ryan how greatly matched they are. She asks if she is his type, and he nods tells her yeah. She says that Ryan is TOTALLY her type. Over in the corner Jen is sitting on the couch, watching this exchange, trying to mentally cause Allison to burst into flames.

Nice.

Originally Posted by MaxxFisher

Parker decides that he needs to confront Jacob about this. As he goes outside the conversation suddenly changes to the weather about how cold it is.
“You know what’s cold, Korea”, Jacob Said, “It’s cold as hell there”
“You know what’s cold?” quipped Parker. “You telling everyone out here that I’m a snake”
Nice

Yes, this was very funny.

Originally Posted by MaxxFisher

Allison “I don’t trust Jen”
Jen “I don’t trust Allison”
Ryan “I don’t trust Parker”
Parker “I don’t trust Ryan”
That Was Classic!

Yes, I loved that!


Great Recap, Maxx! It was a good read and very enlightening on the episode!