Big Brother 9 - Episode 29 – Natalie’s God Has Answered My Prayers

[MaxxFisher]

Natalie’s God Has Answered My Prayers

Greetings my loyal minions, Maxx Fisher here.

Have you ever not been able to get a smile off of your face? You know the kind of smile I’m talking about. The kind that makes your face hurt. The kind that makes people question whether or not you should be riding the short bus. Well right now I have that smile on my face, and I’m pretty sure that when I go to work tomorrow it’s still going to be there. Oh, I sure hope I don’t have to fire someone or something, that certainly wouldn’t look right. And speaking of not looking right, what is with Natalie’s hair? Her head looks like a German Shepherd’s ass, but more on that later.

We get the reactions from this past Sunday’s Veto ceremony. Sharon is happy, but then again Sharon is always happy, unless Jacob is around. Natalie is pretty sure that, no strike that, Natalie knows she staying, they’re sticking with the plan, God’s righteous plan. Sheila to Natalie: Buh-bye.

Send In The Big Dumb Clowns
Well right after the ceremony starts the Dance of Natalie Crawling Up The Boys’ Butts. It’s not an attractive dance, not just because it involve Natalie, but because it includes a lot of annoying baby talk. Plus you have to think about Ryan & Adam’s butts and that really isn’t a pleasant thought. Natalie is baby talking, she threatens to “sock the boys in the eye” in what she thinks is a cute voice, but believe me, it’s not. See this is why I write these things, so you don’t have to watch this bloodbath of idiocy. So my little bacon bits, your welcome.

But it’s time for Natalie to freak because the boys decide they are having a house meeting. I really shouldn’t pick on Natalie at this because Sheila & Sharon also freaked out too, but, and I know this will come as a shock; I hate Natalie so it’s OK for me to pick on her. My mommy told me so. No one thinks this is a good idea, except for Ryan & Adam, so I question their intelligence more than I normally do. So they call this big meeting (which they bring a Bible to) and Natalie simply decides she isn’t going to attend, she stays in the bathroom to dye her hair. So the meeting moves to the bathroom and we get the line of the night, thanks to Sharon: “Why do we have to have church in the bathroom?” Excellent.

A Bus, But Not A Bus Bus
The meeting was basically a way for they guys to make all the women uncomfortable. Ryan called out Natalie on her final 3 & final 2 deals with everyone. Strangely she only denies half of this. She says that she was never on the girls’ side; she was only loyal to the boys, as they show the file footage of her making a final 3 deal with Sharon. She says that if she won HOH she would put up Sheila & get rid of her, with Sheila sitting right there. Smart. Ryan tells Natalie that she’s been throwing them (Ryan & Adam) under the bus. “I threw you under the bus, but not the bus bus” WHAT?!?!?! I guess you can boil it all down to Boys Rule & Girls Drool. Ryan & Adam said that they only called this meeting to stop all the double dealing but it was pretty obvious that these jug heads got some power and decided to use it. Sheila was majorly peeved over this, “These clowns ruined my plan”

After the meeting Nat & The boys have their own little get together. The boys tell her that it was all for her own good, I don’t really see that, but whatever. Natalie then lays it on thicker than her make up. I love you guys, I’ve lied to them not to you, my life is in your hands. And then the tears come out. Fake tears. Here’s the funny thing, when someone cries, Adam cries. When Matt cried, Adam cried. When Josh cried, Adam cried. When James cried, Adam cried. When Natalie cried, Adam was dry as a desert wasteland. Let me just say that when Natalie is crying, she is hideous. That isn’t my hate talking, she is a fugly crier.

Cut to a little mini confrontation in the kitchen. Natalie calls out Sharon for her lies. Sharon of course tells everyone there that she hasn’t lied, and she hasn’t at least about the things that Natalie is talking about, and then all basically blows over. Now the show didn’t really let you get a feel for all of this but both of these little meetings were complete let downs. The boys talked up this confrontation for hours before it happened and then it just fizzled. And Natalie was really going to tell Sharon off, and then nothing. They were all talk.

Maybe Chelsia Was Right About Adam
Sheila, Ryan & Adam had a little “conversation” in the HOH room. Well Adam & Sheila did, all Ryan did (not shown on tonight’s episode) was eat Sheila’s snacks, tear a hole in his pants and break a chair by sitting on it. None of that was a joke.
Sheila: Who are you keeping?
Adam: We’re thinking of keeping Natalie, I gotta have a heart
Sheila: Well do you have some kiwis or a spine?
Adam: We can get her out next week
Then it degenerates into yelling that I didn’t bother following
Sheila: Don’t you yell at me
Adam: I’ll yell at you bitch
Sheila: Get out.
So she throws them out of the room. I do have to say (from the feeds again) that Adam felt really bad about calling her a bitch and later came back & apologized for calling her a bitch, so he’s not a TOTAL jerk.

The Hole Just Gets Deeper & Deeper
Mrs. Julie Baller was on to talk to the Hamsters. Let’s see Natalie had that Natalie smile on her face. I think of it as something like the bus in Speed. She thinks that if she drops that smile, she’ll explode. Well Julie basically pointed out to everyone that Natalie hates women and doesn’t want to play with them anymore. Hey Sharon, why didn’t you talk during the “meeting”, Well Julie, it wasn’t my battle so I just let them say what they had to say. Hey Sheila, what did you think of Natalie saying that she was going to get rid of you, I was mad, I was thrown under the bus. Where exactly is the bus everyone is always bringing up and how much is the fare? Hey Ryan, why did you have that really, really stupid meeting that was great for the feed watchers but really did nothing else? Between bites Ryan said that he was tired of all the rumors and just wanted it all out there.

Well some writer was feeling very clever and had Julie ask the HG’s if they made it to the final 2 would they rather be sitting next to someone that deserved to win or someone they could beat. Well since there is not allowed to be a thought of your own at this point of the BB game they all said that they would want to be next to someone that deserved it. Adam said that he wasn’t worried about sitting next to someone that deserved it because he could beat anyone. Was that really a smart thing to say?

Even Matt Thought You Were A Jerk
Let’s get to this weeks installment of my favorite soap opera “Jury House”. Chelsia misses James but wants to see Natalie walk through the door next. Josh is still “upset” that it was Natalie that got him out. Matt is losing his mind because he’s not friends with anyone there. James comes in and everyone is happy, but 2 of them are sad, you guess which is which. Matt “Payback’s a Bitch”. He shows them the DVD, Chelsia makes some weird noise when she sees Adam win HOH, and NONE of them can believe that Adam did not nominate James. Matt, “At least he gave you a fighting chance” which James agreed with. They show James’ exit and he said it was important to him to not go out bitter, which effects people still in the house. Now I want to take a moment here to say that I like James. I thought he was a pretty good player and a likeable person, but what he did next was just a complete and total D!@% move. He tells everyone in the room and Chelsia that it was her parting comments that got him kicked out of the house. Then they replay those comments, which were great by the way. She is tearing up and leaves the room. Awwwwwwwkward. Even Matt, douche bag Matt looks at James like “Dude, what the hell was that?” Cut to Chelsia who is upset because SHE CAUSED JAMES TO LEAVE!!! Come on girl. Well James comes in says he’s sorry, kind of. He says that he’s happy he fell for the girl, they kiss. Awwww.

James, if you’re reading this, and I’m sure you’re not, Chelsia is not the reason you left. You left because you were mean to Natalie’s boyfriend/fiancée/soul mate/husband and her side was in power. Deal with it. If you won the veto you would still be there and Sharon would not be in the Jury house blaming Chelsia for being there. You’re on my Jackass list buddy.

If I’m Dreaming Then Don’t Wake Me Up
Well it’s time to get this party started because there ain’t no party like a Natalie booting party cause a Natalie booting party don’t stop. Hey Sharon & Natalie, tell us why you should stay.
Sharon: I’m up again, thanks, love you, if it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go
Natalie: Thank you Big Brother, I love my boys, please keep me, I want to see the mini table (fake tears, fake tears aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd scene)
Time for the vote
Ryan: I vote to evict Natalie
Adam: I vote to evict Sharon
Well Big She is going to have to break the tie…after these messages

DAMN YOU JULIE CHEN!!!

We’re back and instead of the vote Sheila gives us a 3 hour commencement address to the graduating class at the DeVry Institute, at least it felt that way. It basically came down to Natalie I am voting you out because you told everyone that you were going to put me up and get me out so I kind of have to do this because I can process thoughts in my head. So,

NATALIE GET THE F#@% OUT!!!

Thank God, Thank God, Thank God.

Natalie leaves and we get a snippet from inside the house, she isn’t happy that she was put into the position to break a tie, but all is good. Julie tells Natalie that it seemed like she was destined to be in the final 4. I don’t think Julie likes Natalie because this strikes me as the “Julie Rubs It In Show” a program I always love. Nat is mad at both the boys even though only one of them voted her out. There were some goodbye messages but they were too nice for me to care. Hope Matt has gotten his shots. I just want to give Natalie a piece of advice, stop shopping in the girl’s section of the story. Buy women’s clothing. And do something with your hair, it looks like you were in a fire and those are the singed remains.

The Answer Is A
We get to the HOH competition, it’s the one where they have the giant bulls eye everyone stands in and they either step forward or step back depending on the statement. This one was called “Fact or Fiction”. Julie would make a statement, and you have to say if it is fact or fiction. Knowing what’s going on all the things Julie said were ridicules and they were all fiction. The last statement though was “There is another pre-existing relationship in the house”. Well the answer on that one was fact because they were talking about the guinea pigs and at that point we had a tie, Sharon & Ryan. The tiebreaker was this, how many total minutes combined were all the houseguests in the glass house HOH competition. I learned 2 things from this, Sharon did not understand the question and Ryan cannot do basic math, but that didn’t matter because Ryan won the HOH. But who cares, the HOH is just immunity this week, it’s the Veto winner that decides who goes home.

I ask you to answer the poll I have above. Were the producers implying that Adam & Sheila are the third couple in the house with the last Fact or Fiction statement? If I were Ryan or Sharon I would think that. Hmmmm I smell a rat.

So, are you happy that Natalie left? Who do you want to win Veto this week? Would you rather watch a show called Jury House? Please tell me below

Later Minions

If you have the guts to say something to me you can contact me at Maxx@tvfunspot.com

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[Erika]

Funny stuff! Do you really hate Natalie that much Maxx

I think it was producer manipulation in the HoH - total and utter nonsense too.

[Jahim]

Maxx, I appreciate your articles, but I would encourage you to have a stronger opinion and stick to it. It seems a little vague in regards to whether you are pro Natalie or not.

[MaxxFisher]

I will try to make my feelings less vague from now on

[cher]

Love this post! Iwanted ryan out this week, but as you know, he won HOH. Now, if Sharon wins POV I believe Adam will go. this leaves us with a final 3 that Ido not like, as I wanted a Sheila/Adam F2.I CAN NOT STAND RYAN. can you say arrogent? lol sp.

[cher]

I forgot to express, my joy at the sNatch getting the boot.

[Blue]

Seriously, tell us what you really think of Nathalie. Ding Dong the Wicked Which is Dead!!!! Goodbye and good riddence.

What I wouldn't give to be in the house when James, Chelsia and Joshua see her walk in...

You ROCK MAXX FISCHER!!!!