Episode 14 - Flirt Your Way to Success!

[kungfuhippie]

Episode 14
Flirt Your Way to Success!

Survivor Micronesia. Anyone remember it? Fans vs Favorites? Ring a bell at all? Once these shows air their finales, they kind of immediately descend into the depths of our consciousness. Maybe we talk about it the next day around the water cooler, but it won’t be long before the phrase ‘remember Alexis from Survivor?’ will illicit nothing but a blank stare. But we can’t let the memories die just yet, because we owe you one last installment.
There’s no point in a recap this time. We all know what happened. If you don’t, I doubt you’ll be reading this. It came down to two bffs, Amanda and Parvati and Parv won, remember that? The reunion show featured girls with lots of makeup, an even scarier than usual looking Joel, and a loquacious Fairplay who Probst still doesn’t like. Nobody got too fat, but Jason looks pretty weird. That’s about all you need to know. This being Survivor Micronesia Analysis Centre though, we can’t shut the door on the season without a final analysis of the players. What say you, Erika?

Fairplay - he signed on to get a paycheck and to make sure that his Survivor image wasn't tarnished. He knew that in this shark tank he would not win, so why not go out on your own terms? Why would want to place 8th or 4th or even 3rd? You'd be beaten again - this time he got to leave without being outplayed. I can’t really say anything about him. He’s such a caricature of himself now. In his original season he was a normal person. Well, closer to normal. Now he’s a creature of television, transformed by Pro Wrestling and awful reality TV into something that doesn’t quite belong on the Survivor any more. I’m sure he could have provided some amusing moments and I wish he could have helped Yau-Man get further but perhaps its just as well he gave up early.

Mary - not much to say here except that women can be caddy and it's never smart to start the game by getting close in a romantic sense with a strong guy on the tribe - every one sees a Romber. It was perception I'm sure, but best to stay low and mingle with everyone at the start. Yeah, I can sort of see why people would want to bust up her and Mikey. But I think they kind of jumped the gun. If Mary had stayed around a little longer, maybe I would have something to say about her. But aside from thoughts on her most obvious physical attributes, I got nuthin'.

Yau Man - Poor Yau I was sad to see him leave so early and I'm sure everyone sans Cirie was too, but when you are playing in a shark tank, these things are gonna happen. He was struck down before his time for sure and I think his reputation preceded him as well. Heck, most of the favorites were in love with him too! It was a little disappointing that Yau didn't have an amazing plan to go deep. From what I hear, he had too many irons in the fire, maybe if he played it a little simpler and had fewer and closer allies things could have been different. This is why you have to think twice about coming back for another season. Your good reputation can suffer. It's why Tom Westman won't come back. Well Yau is still a cool Survivor character, you can't take that away from him.

Mikey - I think this guy was probably going to be a star of the game, if he hadn't been stuck on a tribe full of such complete clowns. He too was a victim of circumstance I think and if the fans had any sense at all, he would have been around for a while. I think he could have been a good player too. But a really good player would have a better handle on things. I think he was over confident. He had a warning when Mary got the boot, but he didn't do enough to gain support. Tracy and Joel out worked him.

Joel - a buffoon and really not much of anything else. He didn't realize that his general demeanor and overbearing nature was going to catch the ire of many and he indeed reaped what he sowed. He has nobody to blame but himself for his poor placement. Like he said at the reunion, he was a failure. He exploited Mikey's overconfidence and then fell victim to the same thing. Its quite ridiculous to think you can go through the game being a jerk to everyone and imagine that, because you’re a giant ogre people will keep you around until the end. Watch some more Survivor before you try out again, Joel.

Chet - Erika, for some reason, you forgot to mention Chet! Possibly because he isn't worth mentioning? He could have been a great underdog character, if only he had some fire inside to win. Or at least to try to go forward. I hate to agree with Joel, but he was kind of a ball of goo. I did forget to mention this one, meh, he's not worth it really. Bad casting.

Tracy - a very underrated player to say the least. Tracy knew this game and she knew how to play it. I also think as a physical presence she was underestimated as well. She had potential to go far had she ended up on a stronger tribe, so unfortunately for her, circumstance did her in mostly. Getting lumped in with Kathy and Chet, apparently was what lead to her demise. The Fans made a lot of snap judgments which sealed the fates of many of them. Better players have some flexibility. Tracy was more flexible than most of the Fans, but wasn't able to pull off a really big move.

Ami - she was way too tentative in her gameplay and had the potential to really make moves in this game, but let them pass her by again and again. She made a stupid vote in the beginning by voting Cirie and pretty much her story was that of could of, should of, would of and when you think those things, you are not even close to being in top form. There was an awful lot of talk about turning the tables on Ozzy earlier in the game. Ami was in the thick of that (as was Cirie). She just didn't seem to ever be able to convince enough people that the time was right to do it. If she could have, I think Ami would have gone a lot deeper. She just didn't have the followers she had on her original season to be able to dominate.

Jonathan - Wow, you have something against Jonathan, too? You're colder than Probst! When Jonathan left he was talking about how he had a handle on the game. I thought he was full of it. But you know what? Things were sort of turning around for him. He was starting to make something out his chances. I respect that. But that ridiculous challenge with pointed sticks strewn about put him out. Too bad. He wasn't afraid to make moves. I like Jonathan a lot actually and I was interested in how his story would develop. I was upset for him that he had to leave the way he did.

Kathy - Ok, she was nuts. What were they thinking casting her? What was she thinking, applying every season? I guess she provided some comic moments, along with some sort of weird ones. They need better psych evaluations...end of story.

Eliza - she was as crafty as she could be given the circumstances she found herself in. Coming from a season where she was the betrayer time and time again is a tough game to live down. She did what see could, but her over-dramatic nonsense got on my nerves after seeing her on the jury over and over again. No emmy for her. She got hit with a lot of bad luck. Every alliance she formed crumbled before her for one reason or another. I agree that she did the best she could. It was kind of fun to see her scrambling. The only thing that bothered me about her is her holier than thou questioning at the final TC. But there has to be one in every crowd who acts like that.

Ozzy - I still have great reverence for Ozzy, despite his obvious stupidity in trusting Parvati. Now one can call Parvati's blindside of Ozzy brilliant and it was, but I doubt blame Ozzy for being stupid simply because outside this game he had a close bond with Parvati. Perhaps his worst fault this season was being too trusting. This sort of trust in others only spells demise though. I think Ozzy was too much at the forefront this game. Last time it was Yul who was really calling the shots. Ozzy was providing the muscle. This time, though he tried to slough it off, he was the top man and a target for pretty much anyone who had sense (the fact that there were so few people with sense in the game explains why he lasted as long as he did). Its true that trust in his alliance was what undid Ozzy. But you have to trust someone. He just got outplayed.

Jason - he was arrogant, he was cocky and he was dumb as rocks. I didn't like him from the word go and his comments about how we was God-like were asinine. He game consisted of being used and abused. Idiot. I feel a bit bad for this kid. Sure, he made some dumb comments, but people seemed to really have it in for him. It seems like Eliza was the only one who considered aligning with him.. Which speaks volumes about how poorly people played. Why not pick up an isolated loner who is good in challenges? In the end though, you are right, Erika. His desire for acceptance made it easy for Natalie and co. to use and abuse him. And indeed, the word idiot describes him well.

James - Another medical evacuee, though he would likely have been booted soon anyway. James is a clever enough guy. He always had the funny lines, which made him a good character. But he hasn't a clue how to play this game. He has zero flexibility. James could have put together an alliance with Erik, Jason and Amanda, when Amanda was feeling pretty alienated from Parvati and Cirie after the Ozzy boot. Jason had the Immunity Idol. The black widows were plotting against Jason. Those four could have controlled the game right there. The fact that James didn't grab that opportunity is a big disappointment to me. Apparently Jason was too annoying to align with. He must have been pretty damn annoying to throw away a chance at a million bucks. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, James proved to have no strategy in China either. The infected finger spared him from the inevitable. I think James was great this season simply for his lines - he's a funny guy. It was unfortunate for him he left the way he did, but I suspect his number would have been up sooner enough. My understanding though was that Jason was so unbearable that nobody wanted to align with him, so I can't fault James for it. James may not play the strategic game of survivor that well but he could have won an immunity or two down the stretch I think and I am quite confident he wouldn't have given any necklace to Natalie.

Alexis - I am not a fan. She claimed that she never told a lie, but that was a lie itself. She played a weak game physically and was never an immunity threat and she never really did anything but tag-along to a ready made alliance. Tag-a-longs don't do well, especially this season. Agree. She really didn't do anything, other than put the moves on Ozzy. A disappointment, considering Probst touted her as one to watch at the beginning of the season. One to watch if you need a sedative? If you're a fan of trucker hats? Her question at the final TC was lame too.

Erik - Ozzy put it aptly when he called him a 'Lost Puppy Dog'. The kid had everything he needed to win the million, except sense. He was excellent in challenges and knew how to save his rear when it was Ami vs. him, but when a ready-made alliance is telling you to do something that puts you at risk; you need to be a little more than skeptical. Dumb move of the series for sure, but he himself doesn't seem to be bothered by it, he got to meet his Survivor idols, which I think was really his reason for playing. As a character, I liked Erik a lot. He said a lot of funny things and seemed to be enjoying himself so much. But, yeah, he was dumb. He didn't have a single clue.Its kind of sad he was such a sucker. But, a fun character.

Natalie - She played it well in the beginning by staying low and keeping her nose to the ground. Her latter game left a lot to be said - mostly by her and I think generally she seemed like a nutcase. Still, getting the immunity necklace from Erik will make her one to remember. Once she discovered girl power, her game elevated from that of a tag along to being a lot more active which made her instrumental in blindsiding both Erik and Jason. But in the end, she was really just being manipulated by stronger, better players. Once she hit final four, she had nowhere to go. She will really only be remembered for her freaky, delusional jugular vein speech and her off kilter performance at the final TC which seemed to show she had taken full advantage of the free beverages at the Ponderosa before the show. But at least that’s something to remember her for!

Cirie - she played so well this time. It was a great display of subtle manipulation that pushed her into a great spot in this game. Well done, except she wasn't expecting the one thing that would prevent her for making it to the finals. Solid effort and good strategy for sure. She did play well and was behind a lot of the moves that brought the game to its conclusion. The only problem with her game is she didn’t have a solid ally that she could rely on completely. The fact that she was a bit of an outsider in all her alliances helped keep any target off her, but in the end she didn’t have anyone who would stick by her no matter what. At the end you need that or the ability to win challenges and Cirie had neither.

Amanda - she's very likable from my standpoint, but for being a pageant type, she is simply awful at closing the deal. It seems to be she has a difficult time getting it together and owning her good play. I don’t think you get so deep twice without some game. She does make solid friendships/alliances that serve her well through out the game. And she has a knack for winning challenges when it counts. Her problem appears to be at Tribal Council. The thing is, you play like Amanda, you’re going to have the people who are going to support you, your pals (Ozzy and James) Then you’ll have your opponents pals (Alexis, Natalie, Cirie). Your job is to convince the swing voters. And they don’t want to hear that you’re better, nicer and more honest than them. Even if you are. Eliza wants to think that if she was just a bigger jerk than you, she would be up there. Amanda can’t tell people like Eliza and Jason what they want to hear.

Parvati - she was a girl on a mission throughout and in the end it paid her out well. She played an excellent game this time and made some outstanding strategic moves to put her in her spot. She is the rightful winner in my opinion. The funny thing is she was going to show she had more to her game than flirting. It turns out that was the most important aspect of her game. Yes, she made good moves when she needed to, but she flirted her way to the top. She flirted with everyone. There’s an Italian Deli not too far from my place and there is a young guy who works there. He’s like Parvati. He flirts with every woman who goes in there. He flirts with every guy who goes in there. Not in any sort of sexual way. He’s just super friendly and charming and he does it in such a way that it doesn’t seem inappropriate. I imagine my wife would go there every day if she could. Anyway, Parvati evidently has the same kind of charm. She had Alexis and Natalie ready to switch teams. The only people she didn’t flirt with were Jason and Eliza. But she didn’t need to because she admitted she was a bigger jerk than them. I think Parvati did show she was smarter than she came off in her original season. And the elements that made up her game added up to a win. So I’ll agree that she deserved it.

Parvati can now go run her girls boxing charity, which is on the list of charities I am least likely to ever make a donation to. And she can teach them to punch each other and flirt their way to the top.
Overall not a bad season of Survivor. Lots of unexpected twists. Certainly better than the first All Stars season. For me anyway. I didn’t think Fans vs Faves was that good of an idea when it was announced, but maybe Mark Burnett has some idea what he’s doing after all.

Well, that’s it from Survivor Micronesia Analysis Centre. Thanks for following along with us this season. For Erika, I’m kungfuhippie advising you to get yourself an animal print bikini and practice flirting! It couldn't hurt!

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